1 am in the early morning of a new day, she lay awake in bed next to her new lover on that dark Sunday morning. She was pining and longing for her long lost lover, missing his constant unconditional love and ostentatious ways.

A slight internal pelvic kick reminds her of one of the reasons why nurturing such selfish, infidel thoughts is forbidden.

It had always been a vision of hers to be in a league of independent, prestigious women of strength but life had its claws deep in her, forcefully pausing her desire to compete. At some point in her life she was a competitive top achiever.

Recent occurrences had built up to that fateful Sunday morning, one of which included a realization that her new lover of a few months was no where near ostentatious; a lifestyle with which she had grown accustomed to in the plentiful months she had spent with her long lost lover.

This Sunday morning marked the commencement of doubts deeply embedded in the back of her mind. Doubts pertaining to events leading up to her current condition, lifestyle and status. A large part of her periodically questioned whether she had done herself justice by leaving her long lost lover for her new lover, these thoughts deeply troubled her, especially after a long troubling day with her new lover.

On the brink of forced growth, she wanted nothing more than clarity. She had less than 4 months left, she desperately needed to mature and make a success of herself instead of relying on the past or the present. She knew that she had to think about more than just her own selfish monetary needs and the comparison between the two men.

Disclaimer: This story was originally published on my first blog, www.skyflawa.wordpress.com (active 2011 to 2015). However, the story might have been edited slightly prior to publishing on this blog, to suit my current style of writing.